It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
