seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
