Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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