6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
