So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
