Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
