So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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