WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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