My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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