I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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