the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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