The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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