My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
