If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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