Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
