Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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