why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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