why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Everything about him screamed your future.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
