She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
