so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
