Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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