oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
