I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
