Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
