I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
