the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
