you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
