it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
