i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
