I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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