Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's the barista slut.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
