I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Small penises have feelings too.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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