I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
