It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
