I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
