no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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