The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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