Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
