no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
