lets start a swedish sibling band together
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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