i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
