Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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