i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
