Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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