So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
