Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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