it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
