After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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