Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I died a long time ago.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Randomize
