I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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