you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
