highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
