your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
