and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
