2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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