in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
